We talked and talked. He had watched his sister grieve and realized how much she loved him. He was sad that he didn’t know she was expecting a baby when he died, but was honored that she chose David for his new little nephew’s middle name. David thought his second nephew was a kick. He was amazed at how much his niece had grown. She was only 18 months old when he died. We talked about my dad’s last few weeks on this earth.
We talked about David’s girlfriend. He watched her grieve. He liked the man she married, six years after David died. David grieved along with her and his friends Dru, Dan, Tyler, Graham, and others.
“Mom, I’m so pleased with the book you wrote. Yes, I read it, after all you left it for me on my dresser. I was helping you write it, giving you words to express the stories. I know that was a huge endeavor and it means a lot to me.”
“It was a labor of love for me. My mission in life since you died, is to maintain a really good relationship with your sister and my grand kids, and to honor you by helping keep your memory alive. I really felt your presence while I wrote the book and liked to think you were helping me.”
“Want to take a drive in my new car?” I asked.
“Sure, it’s a really kewl car.”
As we drove, we talked. I asked him if we could drive up Bogus Basin Road, where he had died and he was okay with that. When we got there, we got out and sat on the hillside by the makeshift paddle/memorial that his friends had made. The sky was blue with tendrils of clouds floating lazily above. Flies and bees buzzed nearby. I asked David to point out exactly where he lay on the road when he passed.
Not only did he do that, but I had a vision of David lying on the road, on his left side, still semi “seated” on his bicycle.
“David, there are a couple of things I’ve so wanted to know about that day. Did you know you were dying?”
“No. When I approached the eight mile marker on Bogus Basin Road, I felt really winded and weak, and knew I had to stop. A vision flashed before me of my fainting in wrestling practice when I was 15. Winning the race wasn’t as important to me as taking care of myself, so I stopped. As soon as I stopped, I fell to the ground, and later realized I died instantly. I didn’t feel any pain. Immediately I was standing by the side of the road, looking at myself lying on the ground. I didn’t realize what was going on at first.
“A man in a van stopped about a minute later and I watched him, and soon others, try CPR. Friends and race participants were gathering on the hillside watching efforts to save me. By this time I was pretty freaked out because I realized I had died. I was in such shock. It took a long time for it to register. I saw my friend Joe take a kayak paddle out of his car, cut off the end and place it in the ground on the hillside, directly above where I lay on the road. I was watching until the paramedics came and the coroner’s van took me down the hill.
“I was freaked, as I said. But immediately after that I found myself in a tunnel, with a very bright light at the end of the tunnel. I saw some people walking towards me but couldn’t make them out. Then as they got closer I saw Grandma Bromfield. She was crying, and we hugged and cried. Behind her were Charlie and a few other of my friends who had died. It was somber but I was happy to see Grandma and my friends.”
to be continued….
Tags: grief and loss
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